Once upon a time, between the vineyard and, well, another vineyard, in deepest, Armagnac-soaked France, there lived a couple of Nayatubs (not-as-young-as-they-used-to-be’s); that’s not to say they felt any older in their heads than they used to – far from it; but they were finding hard physical work took longer and that their arms seemed to have shortened when they wanted to read. This didn’t prevent them, however, from volunteering to help when the need arose.

They were looking at the wood pile as the nights started drawing in, when Mr Nayatub announced that there may not be enough to see them through the winter; they’d have to look into buying some more.

And suddenly, out of nowhere, or maybe there was a puff of smoke; there appeared the wood elf, in the form of Patrick, the village Maire. “I come with tidings of great joy” he said, or words to that effect. “In thanks for your voluntary work, the commune would like to give you a present of 10 cubic metres of firewood”. And without even a puff of smoke, as that would be against health and safety regulations, there appeared a large, neatly stacked pile of oak. The Nayatubs were delighted; they thanked the wood elf and everybody lived happily ever after.

Ah well, it’s a nice dream and some of it’s true; but after telling us about the wood, Patrick added that it just needs collecting from the forest. The commune sold the oaks from a patch of forest a couple of years ago; barrel makers got the best wood, mainly the trunks, cabinet makers the next and what remains has been divided up among the volunteer workers. There are some huge pieces and other bits are smaller, but they all need chainsawing to length, dragging to the edge of our plot and stacking. Patrick said someone with a tractor would bring them to the house for us.

It’s extremely hard work; we can only do a couple of hours at a time and though Nick doesn’t seem to be suffering too badly, I’m not sure my shoulders and wrists will ever be the same again!

So we’ve signed up with Helpx, a work/accommodation exchange scheme and have a young French couple arriving on Saturday. They’re both into bodybuilding, so we’re hoping they’ll be strong enough to make a difference. Watch this space!