In the fairytale world of King Nick and Queen Jackie changes are afoot; Prince Kieran is soon to head off to sunnier climes for a fortnight’s holiday, though there are those who say the last 21months have been nothing but holiday. This would leave Old Nick to continue work alone, as Queen Jackie’s no use at all when it comes to such heavy skills as plastering, plumbing and mixing concrete. So the word went out; throughout the land they scoured the populace for a suitable replacement for Prince Kieran. Was there anyone with suitable qualifications? Someone who could keep Old Nick from falling off the ladders, work from morning till night and light and cook an excellent barbecue.

A shortlist was drawn up – a very short list, as there was only one candidate mad enough to volunteer; Cinderello, aka Chris, was flown in at great expense (his own), courtesy of Ryanair (don’t forget the fanfare – they arrived on time) and immediately put to work. Well, his apprenticeship only lasts till Kieran leaves on Saturday, so there’s no time to lose in his training.

He soon got the hang of fitting insulation between the rails in the living area, took quite well to the habit of drinking beer at the end of the working day to rehydrate and he won’t forget Kieran’s barbecue-lighting method in a hurry (white spirit and a blow-torch). He was fed suitably meagre rations of gruel in the form of duck heart kebabs, magret de canard, veggie kebabs, cheese, salad and cherries fresh from the tree while he and Kieran discussed the relative merits of Ubuntu, crashbang and deviants, among other things totally incomprehensible to the old folks. Now there only remains the task of finding him somewhere to sleep; under the kitchen sink? Having had no sleep at all last night, I think he’d probably sleep well anywhere! Just hope that interfering old baggage of a fairy godmother doesn’t find him; glass slippers really won’t suit him.